ENDA Episode 130→ The time when ENDA faced stage fright (Part 1)

In Episodes 18 and 19, I shared how music, and especially the piano, shaped my journey. But one chapter I’ve kept mostly to myself is what it felt like to perform under the spotlight, every eye trained on me, every note echoing through a hushed hall.

My debut came right after college, when I joined a recital ensemble that would later become an anime-focused orchestra blending rock concertos with full symphonic flair. I earned my spot by mastering a beloved movie ballad, a feat I was proud of during our rehearsals.

Come show day, reality threw its curveballs: the “grand piano” turned out to be an electric keyboard, its light-touch keys demanding a completely different technique. The house lights blazed overhead, and the audience felt enormous, more a sea of faces than fellow music lovers.

Backstage, the air buzzed with nerves. Some teammates paced. Others with more experience were calm. I would have gripped my music sheet, if not because I could not read music and learnt everything by memory.

When my moment arrived, I stepped on stage, seated at the keyboard… and began. The opening bars went smoothly, but soon the mistakes crept in. The unfamiliar key action tripped me up, and my once-steady flow unraveled into stumbles. My fingers found wrong notes; I chased the melody back into place, over and over.

Did the concert descend into chaos? Not quite. Despite my flubs, the hall was filled with applause when I finished. The other musicians never call me out, and our pianist-leader gave me an understanding smile rather than a nod of disappointment.

Inside, though, I was anything but calm. I convinced myself I’d never be called back to play. Yet, by Summer, I found myself called to another recital and with the same nerves.

Would my second round of stage fright be any less daunting?

Well… that would be for another episode.

The journey continues…